Whatever is true

Well, I deleted my last post because it was depressing. I started to get worried that I was going to lose all of my readers if I keep writing posts like that. :-) Also, if I keep thinking so negatively and if my thoughts are full of misery and woe, who would want to be around me? And what kind of mom will I be to Eric? I want Eric to have a happy, positive mom.
I think that it will get better. When I wrote the last post I wasn't thinking clearly. I really don't think I was that depressed it just seemed that way at the time. That happens to me sometimes. Some days I'm just full of emotion.

Here's a verse that should help me: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." Philippians 4.8 NIV

Laughter

Last night Eric laughed for the first time. It happened when I was changing his clothes on the changing table. I kissed him on the cheek and he just thought that was so funny. Maybe it was the way I did it. I don't know but I did it a few times because I couldn't get over how cute it was. He has the cutest laugh. I think it's one of the best things that a baby can do. It shows that he thinks something is funny and that his personality is really starting to show. David and I were just thrilled. It made us laugh too.

Now if only I could laugh more often and stop crying. We would all be in great shape.

Icky illness

Well, my cold turned into bronchitus. I went to the doctor yesterday and he took some x-rays of my chest and told me that it was a severe form of bronchitus.
This bug really hit me fast. Since yesterday I have had a fever that ranges from 100 to 103. And a persistant, hacking cough to go along with it.

The good news is that Eric's cold is gone. Apparently he had a small cold for a day and then it went away. Or maybe he had a allergic reaction to something. Anyway, I'm thankful that he is better.

At first I was really worried that Eric would get my bronchitus from me from my breastmilk, but the doctor assured me that it's ok and actually it's important to feed him while I'm sick so he can get the antibodies to help fight against this. In the meantime, I am taking an antibiotic and some cough syrup. The cough syrup has some slight side affects for breast feeding (Eric could be affected by it) but they are minor and shouldn't be a problem. Besides I can take the cough syrup at night since that is when my cough is worse.

It's been difficult to take care of Eric because when I walk around my body feels achy and I don't have much energy. I've been trying to just do the bare minimum (feed him, change his diaper and put him down for a nap) but it's hard for me. I'm so used to picking him up and moving him to a different form of entertainment (a few of his toys) during the day. I like interacting with him and when I'm sick I don't feel up to it as much.

Eric is helping me to feel better though. He has been smiling at me and it sure brightens my day. Even when I feel my nasty. I'm thankful that I have a cheerful baby. Recently he has been making shrieks and little laughs. It's so cute.

It's a wonderful thing that God has created me to have the antibodies so that Eric can fight this. I've been trying to breastfeed him as much as possible since I've been sick and giving him formula to make sure he's getting enough. It's been helping both of us to breastfeed because it helps me to calm down and actually focus on something else that's positive and it really calms Eric down too, especially at night. (Most of the time it works and he falls asleep with 10 minutes. I call it my magic serum. I looked up the word serum in the MsWord dictionary and for one of the definitions it says "whey" which is milk. :-) I have also found that while I'm feeding him I can read a book and read some verses from the Bible. Even it is with one hand, it works.

cold season

I know something isn't right when Eric goes back to sleep right after having his diaper changed. He usually continues to cry even after he has dry diaper because he is so hungry. But not today. He has a cold. Poor Eric. Last night he hardly ate anything. Both David and I tried several times to feed him in the middle of the night and he barely drank 1 oz. His nose is runny and he is coughing. I feel so bad for him but when I called the pediatrician this morning, he said there's nothing I could do because he's too young to take any medicine. Well, I can always hold him and comfort him. I'm sure just knowing that he has a mom and dad who love him and are taking care of him will help a lot.

The sad thing is that I have a cold too. I am trying to suck it up and be a big girl because my baby needs me but ick, this isn't fun. I need sleep.......

my little baby boy

Look how cute he is. I especially like the one of me and my friend Annie. Annie was able to come and visit and to see Eric for the first time. Eric is looking at his mommy. I love it when he smiles at me. It makes me feel so special.

He loves the blue chair that he's sitting in. He takes naps in it sometimes.
I'm going to take him to go shopping with me this evening. It'll be a good chance for us to get out the house. I really need to work on getting out more often.

getting fresh air

Here are some pictures that I took at a park in Irvine. These pictures where taken before Thanksgiving but I wanted to give you all an idea of what it was like.
I went there again yesterday. Eric and I both really needed some fresh air. (aka: struggling with living in a 1 bedroom apartment)
Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera. I could've taken some really nice shots. Oh well maybe next time.
I was able to feed Eric on a bench by a lake. (even though he had to drink a cold bottle of formula because the bathroom faucet only had cold water) I'm so glad that he can eat his food cold. At home, I have a bottle warmer and I always use it to warm either my breast milk or his formula. It's so nice to have.
It was so peaceful and relaxing. The ducks and geese were friendly and so were the peacocks.

I'm so glad that I can go to a park and get away for a couple of hours. The other day for some reason I couldn't think of that. I could only think of the huge dark cloud that hung over my head and our apartment. I prayed but I thought that it didn't help and that my prayers were just hitting the ceiling.
Some times I have days like this when I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and the world is coming to an end.

winter wonderland wedding

Well, we made it back from South Dakota. We got on the plane and left Orange County last Thursday with just a sweatshirt on over our t-shirts and jeans. When we arrived we quickly put on our heaviest and warmest coats before we had to go outside.
My goodness it was cold. I've never been in such cold weather before. And I have never seen so much snow all at once. Being from California, David and Eric and I don't see snow except if it's in the mountains and we looking up in the right direction when we're driving or if we are watching the weather channel :-).

I had a bit of a hard time because I was still dealing with the darn PPD(post pardum depression). It just makes me feel like the world is coming to an end. I prayed a lot while I was there.
I'm so glad that David and I were able to take Eric along to the wedding.
My brother Tim and Reada's wedding was beautiful and I believe it was the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to. The pastor who married them gave a great message and gave the gospel. It was so neat to see my brother get married to the his sweetheart. I'm also so glad that the Lord put them together. I'm so happy for Tim and Reada!

Eric did great too. I think he had a bit of a hard time with the change of routine but I think he did great for being almost 3 months old (next Thursday).

Driving around was quite challenging because it was very icy and in some places the snow was blowing across the road. I don't know how people handle these types of winter conditons. It seems like it would be so stressful just getting to work in the morning. Maybe I'm just not used to it because I have lived in sunny California all my life.







I'll try to get some more pictures on here later.