here's a laugh

This is some kids from the Sunday School that I grew up in Northern California. I'm guessing I was about 9 years old. Those were the days.

lovely pictures

These are pictures from last weekend when I had my baby shower. I also spent some time with my family. It was nice to all be together.

Some things just happen

This current weekend while I was sitting at home and baby Z was enjoying his home too, David was out looking at houses again in Tulare.
Here is where it gets interesting.....
David made an offer on a house! Then he decided to stay the night across the street from the house in the car so he could really get an idea of what the neighborhood was like. I'm sure his story will much more exciting than mine (if he decides to tell about it on his blog).
Anyway, at first he called me and said "Guess what? I found a house and I made an offer". We were both pretty excited about it. But of course in the back of my mind I was thinking.... What were we thinking? Trying to move into a house 2 months before the baby comes. But I've been assured that we will have all the help that we need so that helped me to breathe a little easier.
Ok, on with the bigger news. When David was staying in the car right across the street from our possible new home, he noticed some very suspicious activity through out the night and around 3 am. (Maybe these people just don't sleep because it's so hot?) He thought it wasn't a very nice neighborhood after all. In the day time it seemed fine but he thought if we're going to be starting a family there in that neighborhood and in that house then we should feel comfortable.
But wait, don't go yet.... it gets better, I promise. (I have to have a sense of humor about all of this or else I'll go crazy.)
Today David got into a car accident. He was on his way home to Orange County and that's when it happened.




I'm glad to have David home safe and sound. We're also glad that we have good car insurance that pays for the damage.
Now we've decided to stay where we're at for now. I think that this is what the Lord wants us to do.

picture for the day

I thought this was a great picture. I saw it at my Grandpa's house in Hemet and I asked if I could borrow it. The cat is my Aunt and Uncle's (McConnaughy.)
It looks like the bird is giving the cat a piece of it's mind.

family, visiting and presents.....oh my!

This past weekend I had a baby shower. My wonderfully creative cousin SAJ, put on this whole thing (with some help from her family too.) For some more pictures go look at her blog (to the right of here). It was fun as you can see from the pictures.
My parents, my brother and his fiance were able to come down from way up north where the temperature barely hits 70 degrees all year long and you don't need the AC. That must be nice.

I have some more pictures of the baby shower but I can't seem to access them now.
I think I know why though. It's because my brain isn't working. I have proof because this morning I just about burned the apartment down. Yep, if it weren't for David we would be staying in a motel and picking up the pieces and trying to start over. Ok, maybe it wasn't that bad but basically I was going to have some scrambled eggs and then I decided to use the bathroom and I left the stove on high heat. Now why would I go and do a thing like that?
David saved the day (and the apartment) and came running over and turned off the stove. But there were flames and smoke and everything. Oh and did I mention tears?
Yep, tears, sup supping, and wailing. Then I realized that my family was on their way over to say good bye because they have had enough of Southern Cal. (They have been here for about a week.)

At the baby shower I got lots of presents. I had friends and family there too. It was great.
When I got home, I had my family help me to unload everything and pile it in the living room. What fun!
Now I get to have fun finding a place for everything. (Or just stuffing things in a corner).

My little rock climber

This is getting so exciting. In fact it's so exciting that it's helping me to forget about the heat wave. Baby Z is moving and it feels like he's climbing. One minute I feel him lower in my womb and a few minutes later, I feel him high up close to my ribs. The cool thing is that last night David and I could see him move on the outside.
I can tell baby z is getting bigger and stronger now that I can actually see the movements on the outside.
It seems like he's going to be a rock climber. I'd love to be able to see what he's actually doing in there.

Other news: I got the results of my glucose test that I had a few weeks ago. I passed with flying colors! Yah! That means I'm not diabetic and I don't have to have a follow up 4 hour test.

News 2: I'm having a baby shower tomorrow. Yah! My parents are coming and my brother and his fiance. I have a feeling it's going to be a busy week.

I don't think baby z ever sleeps. I feel him during the night and during the day.
Maybe he'll be really tired when he arrives in October and he'll sleep through the night after 5 weeks. Maybe I'm in for a big surprise.

Insomnia

It's 1:00am and I can't sleep. I'm hot and uncomfortable. Ugh! I don't know what I can do to keep cool at night. I keep a fan on in the bedroom but it doesn't seem to help.
Also, my mind won't stop thinking. I wish I had a switch that I could just turn off. I think and imagine all kinds of stuff. Mostly about baby z and how our life will be in a few months.
My eyes feel scratchy but I can't seem to drift off to sleep no matter how hard I try.
Sometimes, I do manage to fall asleep and then I wake up because baby z is lying on my water balloon again. At that point I can't go back to sleep and I am wide awake again. It isn't until 7am or so when most people are waking up that I am finally able to go to sleep. Then I wake up late and face the day much later than most people.

So I either watch TV, read or type a post on here until I can't keep my eyes open.
I don't know if this will get better over the next few months or if it'll get worse.
We shall see.

In other news: Today I had yet another emotional outburst. I was a fountain of tears for most of the day. Actually that really isn't newsworthy. Ever since I've been pregnant I've been a mess. I feel like I don't have anything together and I'm not prepared to be a mom. Today though I started stressing again because David and I have thought it would be best to plan for staying in our apartment for a while. Since there is no guarantee that we will be able to move before October.
I still don't see how we are going to have room for a crib, changing table and any other baby stuff.
I have had some suggestions about moving some stuff and even taking the stuff that we don't need to storage. That all seems well and good but when it comes down to it, I have to ask how and what am I going to pack and how am I going to get off my pregnant rear-end and do things like that? I know David said that he will help me but he is already helping me in other ways.
This seems like such an ordeal to me. Of course there are a lot of things that seem like an ordeal. My pregnant brain just can't seem to handle much these days.

I think I'm getting tired now. We'll see how long that lasts.

Laundry and the pool

Today I decided to do laundry. By the time I got back to the apartment, I just plopped it all down on the bed--- to fold later. I was so hot that I decided to go swimming. It was nice. Not too many people either. I think during the week is the best time to go in the pool because it is not as crowded.

I'm glad that we have a pool at our apartment. I'm also glad that I can cool off during the day when it's sweltering. I think I've found something I can do during the day instead of being bored to tears. Ok, I'm not that bored, it's just that it hurts to stand up too long and I can't do too much housework so that leaves me with not much else to do. So I think I've found something that I can do that keeps everybody happy (and baby z too). At least for about 1 hour during the day.
I've found 4 things that are great about the swimming pool:

1.I can stay cool during the sweltering hot day
2.I stay out of David's way (I'm not really in his way but sometimes I feel like that)
3.I'm getting some exercise
4.My aches and pains seem to melt away

Ow! OW! Ouch!

I know something else that makes pregnancy worse.
Being sunburned! I already have trouble shaving my legs as it is, now I'm sunburned on my legs too. Ow! I wish that I could just let myself go and not shave like some of the people do where I came from in Northern Cal. Just kidding, that is disgusting.
My hair grows so fast that I have to shave every day.

I got sunburned yesterday when I was at Dana Point. At the time I was thinking to myself "What a perfect day it is! I'm not stressed and I'm enjoying myself and the outdoors". I even put 45 spf sunscreen on. But apparently I missed some places because I have funny blotches of sunburn on my arms, legs, shoulders and a really funny pattern on my feet because of my sandles. (I didn't think of putting sunscreen on my feet). I was more concerned with whether or not there was a bathroom with toilet paper. That is a big thing for me these days. There is no guarantee if there are bathrooms that have toilet paper or aren't disgusting at a public beach. But Dana Point is the best I've seen so far. Dana Point puts the local Barnes and Noble bookstore to shame. I mean you would think that a bookstore with a starbucks in it would have a decent,clean bathroom and it would be the public beach that would be disgusting right?

So back to the sunburn. I have been putting aloe vera gel on all over the sunburned areas. I guess I'll be taking cold showers for a while.

Going once.... Going twice..... Sold--to someone else!

David and I went house hunting again. (I guess you can call it that anyway.) This past weekend we drove to a city that is just south of Fresno. We liked it a lot better. We drove around the neighborhoods and we like what we saw. The house in the picture is one that we both really liked. It is in our price range and it is in a nice neighborhood. It seems like the perfect first time buyer house. But the disappointment is that someone already made an offer on it and it has been accepted. What a bummer!

Please pray that there will be another house that is similar to it that we can make an offer on. Also, we need to be able to get a VA loan and we don't know which realtors/sellers etc. accept VA loans for first time buyers. I guess we need to pray about that too.

Today I was able to get out and enjoy myself. I went to the Dana Point harbor with David's Grandma and Aunt and their dog. It was relaxing. I'll have to do it again sometime. A huge plus is that it didn't cost anything. I got to feel the nice breeze from the ocean and the sun at the same time. It was a perfect temperature.
The only downside is that I got sunburned. But I hardly noticed because I was enjoying myself and listening to David's grandma tell interesting stories about her life. She is an amazing person. She is from Holland and she was a nurse during the war. The cool thing is that she is alive to tell about it.

dreaming

Yesterday I was letting my feelings and emotions come out. I think I need to be careful of how I come across. I don't want people to get the wrong impression of me.
I just want to say that I'm sorry and I hope I didn't upset anyone. The situation that I mentioned is really not that bad. I'm sure it's just my emotions that are getting in the way.

Last night I had a dream about moving. Can you tell that's on my mind a lot? My baby moves a lot these days and David and I are considering moving to a bigger place.
This weekend we are planning on taking another trip to a city that is about 4 hours north of where we live. This place has some houses that also affordable and they look nice from the pictures that we've seen. We thought we'd drive up there and have a look . I'll let you know how it goes.

Please pray for me as I struggle with my emotions and being stressed. Being stressed is not healthy but I don't really know how to stop being overwhelmed by stress.

What to do? What to do?

I'm typing this because I am stressed. I know I do this a lot. I'm sorry but I have received some comfort from the comments on here. (Thank you all so much :) )Usually when I post a blog, I feel better after I type.
I don't want my blog to become a diary but today it may seem like it is.
I struggle with this from time to time and today it is back. The problem that is coming to the surface again is the fact that my husband works from home and I can't do certain things while he's there. I want to clean and vaccuum but I can't because it is distracting to him. I have to wait until the evening or maybe a weekend.
This brings up another stress. What happens when we have a crying baby in the apartment? That's bound to happen from time to time, right? Babies cry and cry and sometimes there is nothing anyone can do to calm them down.

See, we live in a 1 bedroom apartment and I keep trying to rack my brain to come up with ideas to deal with this. My husband and I seem to be getting in each other's way and it adds to the stress of daily life.
I realize that we are planning and praying that we will be able to move to a bigger place soon. But I also realize that moving is a big decision and therefore adds more stress. I guess stress in unavoidable in life.

I remember that back in January and before I knew that our lives were going to change dramatically, our 1 bedroom was just fine.
I mean, I was busy. I was either taking classes during the day or I was working during the day or both. I had a busy schedule. Now, the Lord had other plans for us that are way better. But it's so difficult for me to completely rely on him and trust him that this will all work out in the end.

It's crazy how I feel so stressed about all these things and at the same time I've got a baby growing inside of me.

I have considered doing something like knitting, crocheting or something like that, but I seem to have a problem with sitting still in the bedroom. I kind of feel like the world is passing me by. I also want to plant some plants/flowers outside but that seems to be too much of a challenge right now.
I'm not sure what to do. I guess I'm going through a dry spell or a drought in my life right now.

I keep trying to repeat this verse and look at it each time I feel this wave of emotion coming over me. "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:34, NLT.
I have this taped on my computer screen.

Here's another great one: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalm 46,v.1-3 NIV.

The hot trip

Last weekend David and I went to Fresno. It was an interesting experience. We looked at the area and looked some neighborhoods. It was so hot. I don't think I've ever sweated so much in my life.
I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to pregnant all the time and that I was only hot an uncomfortable because I had a heater inside of me.
We have discovered that there are some affordable houses in the Fresno area. We saw some that we liked, but we'll have to pray about what to do next. Moving is a big decision.
The other thing that almost convinced us right away is the apartments that we found. No offense to Orange County but it's sickening that we are wasting more than $900 on a 1 bedroom right now and Fresno has 2 bedrooms for less than $900. That means we could save money and have more room.
I say let's pack up our things and move right now! I just don't understand how the cost of living could be so high here. It doesn't make sense to me.

While we were driving around and pouring water on ourselves to try to keep cool, I was dealing with some emotions. It was difficult to tell weather it was the hormones or if it was the heat and sweat. Actually I think it was both. I'm so glad that we had a swimming pool at the motel we stayed at. It was so refreshing to cool off in it at the end of the day.

Also David and I tried to make it a mini vacation. We saw a movie and hung out at a local shopping area and relaxed. We were able to meet up with one of my friends. Her brother and wife live in Fresno and (his wife) is due in August. Her and I had some things to talk about. :) It was nice.

We are praying about what to do next. We don't know exactly where the Lord is leading us.