thanks

Thank you all for your prayers for me.
Since I've last posted on here, I have talked to a counselor.
She is nice and is a Christian. It's so nice to share the faith. :)
She is helping me to sort through my thoughts and feelings. She has suggested that I write down my feelings/thoughts and how I react to things on a day to day basis.

I am pretty sure that I know why I have been struggling a little more recently.
The past 2 years I have either been pregnant or nursing. Last year, I was both. Ethan was 7 months old when I found out I was pregnant with Brianna. I weaned Ethan pretty quickly. He didn't like the idea but he adjusted.
So I had a lot going on the past 3 years actually. And this summer I don't have much that I am preoccupied with. It's just different. It's a lonely and bored feeling. It's kind of weird to think that I am lonely. I think that is one of the ways that Satan has been attacking me lately.
Eric and Ethan are a handful. I think it's because of their ages and age difference. It's hard for me to keep Ethan busy because he has a short attention span. Anyway, that's a struggle in itself.

I am glad that I can start to identify some of the reasons why I have feeling lonely and depressed. I know a big part of this is that I'm grieving too. That makes all of these life changes much more difficult to handle.