thanks

Thank you all for your prayers for me.
Since I've last posted on here, I have talked to a counselor.
She is nice and is a Christian. It's so nice to share the faith. :)
She is helping me to sort through my thoughts and feelings. She has suggested that I write down my feelings/thoughts and how I react to things on a day to day basis.

I am pretty sure that I know why I have been struggling a little more recently.
The past 2 years I have either been pregnant or nursing. Last year, I was both. Ethan was 7 months old when I found out I was pregnant with Brianna. I weaned Ethan pretty quickly. He didn't like the idea but he adjusted.
So I had a lot going on the past 3 years actually. And this summer I don't have much that I am preoccupied with. It's just different. It's a lonely and bored feeling. It's kind of weird to think that I am lonely. I think that is one of the ways that Satan has been attacking me lately.
Eric and Ethan are a handful. I think it's because of their ages and age difference. It's hard for me to keep Ethan busy because he has a short attention span. Anyway, that's a struggle in itself.

I am glad that I can start to identify some of the reasons why I have feeling lonely and depressed. I know a big part of this is that I'm grieving too. That makes all of these life changes much more difficult to handle.

SAHM and some venting....

I am a Stay-At-Home-Mom. I do not like it, I don't like it one bit. I do not like green eggs and ham......
Ok, that's not exactly how I feel. But some days, I do hate it. Or maybe my hormones hate it.
Some days I lack the motivation to call people to set up play dates. I feel sorry for myself and I hope that people would call me. But then I think, "why would they need to call me? They don't want to get out of their house, because they have a house with a family room and a play room and their husband doesn't work from home (using one of the bedrooms).

(I really need to get this stuff out---I'm sorry for complaining/venting?)
It drives me crazy sometimes. I have a very hard time keeping the kids busy. Most of the time, I have to take them out some place just to make it through the day. I hope I am normal because this stress is making me crazy. I get frustrated because I don't see that things will get better.
My husband doesn't see this, he just thinks I'm crazy and emotional/hormonal.
I have been trying to give this stress to God and say "please take this from me". Maybe I don't know how to ask God to feel me with the Holy Spirit. I don't know.
I have been thinking that the Holy Spirit is a magic wand and that if I just pray the right prayer, that the stress would go away and I will be ok and that also I would be content with my circumstances.

I am sure I have the wrong attitude or heart about this, but this is what has been on my mind for quite a while. I don't know why when I need God's strength the most, that seems to be when my prayers hit the ceiling.

I have been realizing that sleeping, exercise and reading/studying the Bible really help A LOT. I can't believe the difference they make.

So I think I will be ok, I just have to remember that there are some VERY GOOD and cheap/free things I can do. Sleep, exercise, and get in God's word/pray.

If any of you have a minute I would really appreciate some prayer.
Please pray that I will remember to read His promises/verses, exercise and sleep.

Being a Stay at home Mom is exhausting.