what a weekend

For memorial day, David and I went to his parents house.
I'm not sure what words to use to describe the weekend. I was emotional for some different reasons. The number one reason was because of the pregnancy hormones. Those hormones just make it so I can't seem to think clearly.

On Sunday, we went to church together as a family and had communion together. That was the first time that I had been to church on Sunday morning in over 2 months, since I was pregnant. Also, driving up to David's parents house was the first trip that I have been on since I was pregnant too. It took about 3 hours to drive there.

After that we went to lunch. Then we drove around and looked at houses. The idea was to get an idea of what was available in the area. But I kept having these waves of emotion come over me. I felt like we had to make a decision and that there were different types of stress coming at me from every angle. I felt like I was crying and screaming inside and everyone else around me didn't understand. I also kept thinking that this wasn't a big deal and that I should just toughen up. I guess I was expecting too much from myself. I don't know what my emotions can handle when I'm pregnant.
The more we drove around talking about "Oh look, there's a for sale sign, lets see what the price is on that house",(or lets see if we can look inside) the more I was thinking "I don't like this time pressure that I'm feeling". It seems like David and I had to make a decision really soon and move in and get settled before the baby comes. That right there just seemed impossible. Moving and buying a house for the first time and having a newborn baby? I cried just thinking about it because I was so overwhelmed. Only I cried later, after I got home to David's parents house.
I didn't realize that this overwhelming feeling was so bad. I thought that if I just tried to relax and think or cats or iceskating then I would feel better. But I couldn't think about anything else no matter how hard I tried. I prayed and talked to the Lord about this and it just seemed that the awful feelings were still there and they didn't go away. Everything was closing in around me.
Later around midnight though, I decided to have a horrible allergy attack. I don't know what was causing that, but I guess David felt sorry for me because he also had a n allergy attack. What a sneezing, nose blowing night that was! In the morning my nose was red and my eyes where dry and itchy. So on top of the allergies I was an emotional mess.
I decided to get a midnight snack in the kitchen and that is when I started to feel more stable and secure. It was as though the Lord had his arms around me telling me that everything was going to be ok. It was amazing.
Before I knew it, David's family was with me in the kitchen. We were talking about what we could do to ease the stress that I was feeling. It helped a lot just to talk about it. And the next morning at breakfast, we talked some more.

"I am holding you by your right hand, I the Lord your God. And I say to you "Do not be afraid. I am here to help you". Isaiah 41:13 NLT.