The drama of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom and other things
I am depressed today. It feels like the post pardum crap has come back. I thought it went away. I don't want to use this post as a sad, venting, hormonal post but right now I need to talk to someone.
Yes, I have joined a MOPs group and yes I have a few things lined up this week but......
I still feel stuck and lonely.
My husband works at home in our 1 bedroom apartment. We have both been praying about moving. It's been on the back burner for a while because Eric came along and I've been busy taking care of him. But really, we need to move.
I have been struggling with waiting on the Lord for him to give us some directions. But I don't know how long we are suppose to wait. The "In His Time" thing is really difficult.
I am having such a hard time with this. But I feel like I can hardly breathe and I'm really starting to feel clasterphobic in my apartment.
I have an exercise mat on the living room floor and sometimes I lay on that and try to work on my still ugly, flabby abs. Ick. I am dreading the swimsuit season.
I could go for a walk but basically I have to drive somewhere first to walk to somewhere. I live in a very busy area with a bunch of punks and other guys who always look like they're up to no good. I don't exactly want to take Eric out there.
I'm complaining. I'm sorry.
I try to get out but it seems like I end up getting stuck in this cycle of feeding, changing, sleeping and trying to entertain a baby. No time for getting outside and enjoying the fresh air.
David and I have looked at some of our options and have discovered these things:
1.Southern CAl is WAY TO EXPENSIVE TO LIVE IN. Especially for a small family.
2. We have to move out of Cal if we want to even THINK about buying a house.
3. Rent is going to continue to climb as well as housing prices.
4. I may have to put Eric in day care and some how find myself a job. (I'm not ready to put Eric in day care and get a job.) Besides from what I've heard, it's not worth it to do that. Day care is expensive and if I do get a job, I would be using all my money to pay for the day care.
As I was changing Eric's diaper today, I cried. He smiled at me with one his sweet smiles but I only cried louder.
Maybe hormones and PMS has something to do with it. That's another thing. Ever since I've given birth to Eric, my cycle has been cuckoo. I guess it just takes a while to get back on track.
Lord I need your help!
Yes, I have joined a MOPs group and yes I have a few things lined up this week but......
I still feel stuck and lonely.
My husband works at home in our 1 bedroom apartment. We have both been praying about moving. It's been on the back burner for a while because Eric came along and I've been busy taking care of him. But really, we need to move.
I have been struggling with waiting on the Lord for him to give us some directions. But I don't know how long we are suppose to wait. The "In His Time" thing is really difficult.
I am having such a hard time with this. But I feel like I can hardly breathe and I'm really starting to feel clasterphobic in my apartment.
I have an exercise mat on the living room floor and sometimes I lay on that and try to work on my still ugly, flabby abs. Ick. I am dreading the swimsuit season.
I could go for a walk but basically I have to drive somewhere first to walk to somewhere. I live in a very busy area with a bunch of punks and other guys who always look like they're up to no good. I don't exactly want to take Eric out there.
I'm complaining. I'm sorry.
I try to get out but it seems like I end up getting stuck in this cycle of feeding, changing, sleeping and trying to entertain a baby. No time for getting outside and enjoying the fresh air.
David and I have looked at some of our options and have discovered these things:
1.Southern CAl is WAY TO EXPENSIVE TO LIVE IN. Especially for a small family.
2. We have to move out of Cal if we want to even THINK about buying a house.
3. Rent is going to continue to climb as well as housing prices.
4. I may have to put Eric in day care and some how find myself a job. (I'm not ready to put Eric in day care and get a job.) Besides from what I've heard, it's not worth it to do that. Day care is expensive and if I do get a job, I would be using all my money to pay for the day care.
As I was changing Eric's diaper today, I cried. He smiled at me with one his sweet smiles but I only cried louder.
Maybe hormones and PMS has something to do with it. That's another thing. Ever since I've given birth to Eric, my cycle has been cuckoo. I guess it just takes a while to get back on track.
Lord I need your help!
posted by Becky @ 5:27 PM
3 Comments:
At 9:04 PM ,
Mary said...
Hi, I just want to let you know I understand how you're feeling cooped up. I feel the same way sometimes even though I'm not stuck in a one bedroom apartment. I'm stuck at home because of my little girls nap schedule most of the time. She's a wreck if she misses any naps and she takes two naps that are 2 to 3 hours long, so pretty much we're stuck at home a lot. Plus, it's hard to get out with two kids, anyway. Stay up on your sleep as much as possible. I know I get down and cry for no reason when I get behind on my sleep and that has happed a lot since my little girl was born. Just keep looking up :).
At 11:55 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Don't give up looking for a suitable place. Have you thought about looking at modular homes in Ukiah? I was recently looking online and found some pretty nice ones. Daddy & I still continue to pray for a larger and more suitable place for you all.
At 12:40 PM ,
burndive said...
*prayers ascending*
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